State-Fair
Our State Fair - OR - Rogers Mall OR Canfield Fair Goes Hog Wild[edit]
SCENE-1[edit]
Father Figure(FF)old and crusty and I are on the way to "state fair" when we are passed on the road by a vehicle tow truck driving fast and a little wild. The tow ball swings erratically like a wrecking ball.
- FF - "he must be in a big hurry to get to the fair"
SCENE-2[edit]
We get to the fair and soon everyone is running around willy nilly saying there is a crazy guy running around with a gun. Everytime FF and I get to a place, chicken house or burger shack the guy was just sighted and everyone is fleeing. We're a little dubious because we saw "nuttin". I manage to pick up a few groceries including some ketchup. After a few times we've had enough and we head back to our car. On the way we hear several people saying
- we should just give him what he wants and he'll leave
- I look at FF and say "you know we could probably start this whole commotion by saying we saw a man with a gun and he kilt a guy in the hog heaven"
SCENE-3[edit]
Back at the car just was we are about to get in we are ambushed by a hooded grease-monkey figure. (Mad Tow Truck Man) As the first shot rings out.
as FF falls flat on his face he says " well I'll be dipped"
as I fall flat on my face I say " SONOFA"
top view shows blood in a huge pattern underneath me. mysterious figure takes our truck and leaves.
SCENE-4[edit]
Next scene shows us sitting on the back tailgate of an ambulance being questioned by the fuzz.
- What's your last name?
- ME: Elmer
- FUZZ: First name?
- ME: Fudd. My name is Fudd.
- FF: Son we have this discussion every time this comes up, you are named after your great great grand uncle who fought in the civil war. He's touchy. His great uncle in law 3 times removed worked for Warner Brothers and the name got used as a cartoon character.
- FUZZ: I'll have to see some I.D.
- ME: I don't blame you, happens every time.
- FUZZ: Are you hurt?
- ME: er well no, catchup ( gesturing at my shirt covered in ketchup blood ) about the time I heard a shot I tripped and fell straight on top of my bag a groceries
- FF: Yeah runs in the family, jimmy legs. Minute I hear a loud noise I'm tripping all over myself . I was in 'Nam ya know.
- FUZZ: so can you give us a description of the guy?
- ME I was too busy tripping up to see the guy
- FUZZ: Is that your pickup?
- ME: What's it doing there ?
- FUZZ: Are you sure you really parked here? alot of people own white chevy trucks....
SCENE-5[edit]
FF and I are driving off in our recovered pickup.
- ME: Its not like we went around bitching about the world being 1/4 degree warmer! <